Journeys

With the COVID-19 pandemic, many are finding their world in sudden upheaval. Children can't go to school, young adults are home from college, many have been let go from their jobs, and those that do work either do it remotely or in unrecognizable environments. The way we socialize, the way we live, the way we interact has changed. It is easy to feel alone, to become isolated, when we can not physically connect. But this, too, is just a new type of journey.

I've spent the past two weeks quarentined in my room, separated from my family and the outside world. It's given me plenty of time to think, to question. What should I be doing next? Who am I? What do I want to do with my life? Asking big, scary questions.

But these questions don't represent some failure, uncertainty is not something to fear. Questions, new situations, they all represent a journey into the unfamiliar. When we start a new journey, a new experience, it is easy to feel lost. I often feel like I'm falling, falling from what I know into a world I don't understand. Below is a beautiful poem by Jan Richardson about the beauty and the magic we can find on such journeys.

Beloved Is Where We Begin
If you would enter
into the wilderness,
do not begin
without a blessing.
Do not leave
without hearing
who you are:
Beloved,
named by the One
who has traveled this path
before you.
Do not go
without letting it echo
in your ears,
and if you find
it is hard
to let it into your heart,
do not despair.
That is what
this journey is for.
I cannot promise
this blessing will free you
from danger,
from fear,
from hunger
or thirst,
from the scorching
of sun
or the fall
of the night.
But I can tell you
that on this path
there will be help.
I can tell you
that on this way
there will be rest.
I can tell you
that you will know
the strange graces
that come to our aid
only on a road
such as this,
that fly to meet us
bearing comfort
and strength,
that come alongside us
for no other cause
than to lean themselves
toward our ear
and with their
curious insistence
whisper our name:
Beloved.
Beloved.
Beloved.

-Jan Richardson from Beloved is Where We Begin

I love this poem because it reminds us that we are not alone, that even when we don't feel perfect, we are. These times, and any new journey, can feel lonely, confusing. Maybe we're trying to become better people. More healthy, more mindful, more present. But such a journey is never easy, and progress often feels out of reach. We try to love ourselves, but we question our believes, our choices, our identity. This poem reminds me that beginning in itself is the first step to any journey. And we shouldn't expect the journey to be easy, we shouldn't expect ourselves to immediately succeed. Instead, we have to believe that we are making progress. That we will be okay. That we don't need to know all of the answers. That we are never alone: others have felt this way before us, and others will feel this way after us. That this, too, is part of the journey.