Do I want to keep up?

Today, I went hiking with a group of students from my university, I didn’t know anyone else there. For the first two miles, I trudged along, following those in front of me. I was tired, I hadn’t eaten lunch, I wasn’t feeling great, and I didn’t really want to be there. It wasn’t a scenic or particularly interesting hike. I was kind of frustrated- the people in front of me were all friends and weren’t being welcoming to me, and I was annoyed that I was there. But I knew that we still had two more miles to walk, and I realized that I didn’t want to spend them frustrated.

            When we crossed yet another puddle, hopping between stones to avoid getting our boots wet, I found myself rushing ahead to keep up with the people in front of me. I didn’t want to get behind, I didn’t want them to think I was a slow hiker. But then I turned around and I saw the girl behind me. She was wearing sneakers, not boots, and she was much more careful about each step over the puddle. Once she got through it, I turned forward again and kept walking, eager to catch the group.

            But then I paused and thought about it. Did I really want to spend the next two miles trying to prove to the people in front of me that I could keep up? What if, instead, I turned to the person behind me and got to know her? Maybe she would be super interesting, and a new friend, but if not, at least I could stay with her when we crossed more puddles so she wouldn’t feel behind and alone.

            I ended up turning around, and getting to know the girl behind me. She was so nice, and I really appreciated hearing about her work and learning about other cool places she’s been. Instead of staying stuck in my head, I found myself laughing, smiling, connecting. Most likely, I won’t see her again. We work in different places, I didn’t get her phone number or even her last name. But that was never the point. Instead of just trying to keep up, I made an effort to connect with the people around me and support someone else when they were struggling.

            Honestly, I hope that I can do this more often in my life. It went from feeling like a complete waste of time to being one of the best parts of my week. Too often, I feel overwhelmed, I feel lonely, I feel like I can’t keep up with what I’m supposed to be doing. I hope that the next time I feel like that, instead of fighting to keep going, I hope that I pause and use it as an opportunity to connect with the people around me, especially those who might also be struggling. 

View from this hike

How I'm Preparing for an Appointment With A New Doctor

             I have white coat syndrome, so I get extremely anxious at doctor’s appointments. Often, this causes me to be completely silent or barely answer their questions, so I leave the appointment with no answers and even more frustrated with doctors.

            After moving to a new state, I’ve had a lot of appointments with new doctors. Most of them have not gone well, even though I prepared. Especially on days when I don’t feel well, it’s hard for me to talk to doctors, even if I’ve already outlined what I need to say to them.

            This time, I decided to go a step further. It was with a specialist who is known for treating one of my conditions, and I wanted to be prepared since I had waited months for the appointment. Instead of just writing notes about what to say on my phone, I would type up and print out notes for the doctor. This way, I can bring them to the appointment and read them, or if I am having trouble I can always give the doctor the paper.

            A few tips if you’re doing this:

·       Make sure it’s short. Doctors often have less than 15 minutes per appointment (often including time to make notes), so if you hand them a long piece of paper they won’t read it.

·       Use bullet points to keep it shorter and to emphasize the key points

·       Start with the most important concerns at the top

·       Use details, especially when describing how symptoms are interfering with your life.

·       Formatting matters- bold section titles, have a header with your name, the date, and your date of birth.

The template that I used for my appointment was:

1)    Letter- a short, one paragraph letter addressed to the doctor explaining that I have a lot of anxiety about doctors appointments and that I sometimes have trouble articulating my needs. I also listed my top 2 goals for the appointment and three questions I had for him.
2)    Bullet point list with seven sections to quickly summarize relevant health information. (See below)
3)    Reports from previous tests I’d had. These are copies from previous doctors of the full reports, included so they can be added to my file at this office.

My goal was to just hand him the bullet point list, but I also wrote the letter to have in case I had trouble explaining my reasons for writing a list. I wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t trying to waste his time, but that I was trying to use it as a way to get the most out of the appointment, even if I had trouble talking. I also included the reports from previous tests, and would give them to him if he asked for them.

The sections I included to summarize the relevant health information were:

1. Medical History relevant to current specialist- I included major diagnoses and date diagnosed, as well as notes about treatments I tried and if they were helpful
2. Current medications/supplements- include everything, even if it’s not prescription. Also record the dose and when you take it, or if you take it only as needed. It’s really important that this list is accurate so that if the doctor wants to prescribe something new, they can check that it doesn’t interfere with things you’re already taking.
3. Family relevant medical history- I have multiple family members with related conditions, so I included short notes listing those conditions so that the doctor is aware (since it changes some recommended ages for tests)
4. Symptoms- I listed each major symptom, started with the most problematic. For each symptom (a bullet point), I also included notes about how long it’s lasted, how much it interferes with my daily life, how frequently it’s a problem, how long it lasts, and anything I’ve noticed that helps or makes it worse.
5. Recent Relevant Tests- since I’ve moved around a lot, this doctor won’t have access to any of my previous medical records. I listed the tests ordered and any major results. At the end of the document, I attached the printed reports from the relevant tests so the doctor could read them if they wanted to see the full report. For this section, though, I made sure to just keep it a simple list so they could see what had already been done
6. Things I’ve tried- short list of treatments I had tried, what condition they were prescribed for, and how they worked.
7. Diet/Lifestyle- I briefly noted the foods I can not eat, as well as how often I exercise and what that looks like.

I hope this article is helpful for you. Most of the lists I found on the internet simply recommend ‘writing out your main concerns’, but I usually find that isn’t detailed enough to help a doctor. Hopefully, by reading this list, you can come up with a method that works well for you.