A Letter For Those Who Are Scared to Live Alone with Depression

Dear Annie,

I know that you’re terrified to live on your own with depression. I know that you don’t even feel capable of taking care of yourself. I know that you doubt your ability to cook food, your ability to do your laundry everyday, to get yourself to work.

I know you’re worried that there will be days that you will stay in bed all day and nobody will notice.

I know that you worry that nobody will notice if you’re not okay. That you could really be struggling, and even not be doing your job, and nobody would know. And it’s true. It is definitely possible that people might not notice if you’re not okay. But that is always true. But you can help them notice. Even though you live alone, you can make friends who you see regularly. And most importantly, be honest with people when you are struggling or need help. Even friends/family who don’t live nearby can be helpful if you just text them and let them know you’re struggling.

Here’s what you don’t know: a year from now, you will have lived on your own for a year, and it will have been one of the best years of your life. Yes, it will be hard. There will be days when you eat mac n’ cheese for dinner at 4pm. There will be nights when you stay up past midnight binge-watching shows because you don’t have any other plans. There will be days when you leave dishes in the sink. 

But there will also be many, many days and moments of your creation. Days when you get to decide how you spend your time. Days when you read your favorite books for hours, beautiful sunsets outside your windows, and moments when you abandon your plans to go play in the snow.

You don’t have to be perfect. You will do your best. And sometimes, you won’t even do your best, you will do enough. It might not look like the perfectly organized houses and meal-prepped lunches you see on Instagram, but it will work for you. 

One of the most exciting things about living alone is learning what matters to you. You will quickly learn when you need to eat, and you will learn how to cook the foods you need to eat. You will learn how to recognize when you won’t be able to cook dinner, and instead you will order out. You will learn that maybe you’re okay with leaving dishes in the sink overnight, but you like the counters clean. Maybe you’ll learn that you do your best work at 5 am and you’ll get up early everyday.

The plants that share my apartment

For some people, living alone doesn’t work for them. But it might work for you, don’t dismiss it because you’re scared. You will learn that you are stronger than you thought. That you are capable of doing what you need and want to do, and that its okay if you don’t do everything. I hope that you’re able to let go of some of your concerns and enjoy life on your own!