Do I want to keep up?

Today, I went hiking with a group of students from my university, I didn’t know anyone else there. For the first two miles, I trudged along, following those in front of me. I was tired, I hadn’t eaten lunch, I wasn’t feeling great, and I didn’t really want to be there. It wasn’t a scenic or particularly interesting hike. I was kind of frustrated- the people in front of me were all friends and weren’t being welcoming to me, and I was annoyed that I was there. But I knew that we still had two more miles to walk, and I realized that I didn’t want to spend them frustrated.

            When we crossed yet another puddle, hopping between stones to avoid getting our boots wet, I found myself rushing ahead to keep up with the people in front of me. I didn’t want to get behind, I didn’t want them to think I was a slow hiker. But then I turned around and I saw the girl behind me. She was wearing sneakers, not boots, and she was much more careful about each step over the puddle. Once she got through it, I turned forward again and kept walking, eager to catch the group.

            But then I paused and thought about it. Did I really want to spend the next two miles trying to prove to the people in front of me that I could keep up? What if, instead, I turned to the person behind me and got to know her? Maybe she would be super interesting, and a new friend, but if not, at least I could stay with her when we crossed more puddles so she wouldn’t feel behind and alone.

            I ended up turning around, and getting to know the girl behind me. She was so nice, and I really appreciated hearing about her work and learning about other cool places she’s been. Instead of staying stuck in my head, I found myself laughing, smiling, connecting. Most likely, I won’t see her again. We work in different places, I didn’t get her phone number or even her last name. But that was never the point. Instead of just trying to keep up, I made an effort to connect with the people around me and support someone else when they were struggling.

            Honestly, I hope that I can do this more often in my life. It went from feeling like a complete waste of time to being one of the best parts of my week. Too often, I feel overwhelmed, I feel lonely, I feel like I can’t keep up with what I’m supposed to be doing. I hope that the next time I feel like that, instead of fighting to keep going, I hope that I pause and use it as an opportunity to connect with the people around me, especially those who might also be struggling. 

View from this hike